Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
