I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
