I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
