You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
