i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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