Christians are straight up FREAKS
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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