is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
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Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
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It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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