I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
