oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
