bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
