He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
