if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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