she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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