Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
