We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
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He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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