Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
