I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
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