So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i drank out of a bidet.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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