He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
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