Say something about gay babies.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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