the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
