Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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