i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
