question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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