How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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