puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
