Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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