Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
They took my balls.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
