I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
