I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
