these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
you made out with another girl for some wings
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
