i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
