Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
