so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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