I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
