That's when you crack a 10am beer
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
