the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Randomize