the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
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Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize