I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
