Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
