Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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