I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
