I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
