Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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