I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
