this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
