Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
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Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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