Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
