i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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