i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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