FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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