I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
