He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
