She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
