I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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