Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I need a beard to bite.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
