I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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