You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Randomize
