so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I checked into jail on foursquare
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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