i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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