We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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