Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
