I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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