Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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