I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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