I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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