she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
