Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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