They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
