My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
